Short Sayings

You may come across certain time in your life when you are keen to add some quotes and sayings in any card, invitation or letter but you have less of space to express your words.

To help you express yourself in fewer words, here we have a list of short sayings:

Lights on, door open, nobody at home.

He’s as bent as a butchers hook.

As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.

He’s as happy as a pig in shit.

About as subtle as a flying brick.

About as welcome as a fart in a telephone box.

She’s got more wrinkles than an Elephants scrotum.

As tight as a Camels arse in a Sand-storm.

She’s more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs. She’s stroked more wood than a Furniture Polisher.

About as interesting as watching paint dry.

I’ve seen better hands on a clock.

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. He’s as baffled as Adam on Mothers Day.

As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.

We don’t know yet about life, how can we know about death. She’s got half the Black Forest hanging out of her armpits.

As nervous as a turkey at Christmas.

If moral behavior were simply following rules, we could program a computer to be moral. She’s seen more ceilings than Michelagelo.

She’s as fit as a butchers dog.

She’s got a face squeezed like a squeezed tea bag.

As useful as a one armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse.

The thoughts of Youth are long, long thoughts. Uglier than a hatfull of assholes. The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits. His nose is snottier than a frog in a blender.

The artist finds a greater pleasure in painting than in having a completed picture. This guy is all foam, no beer.

As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.

He’s an expert on padded cells.